The Basic Instructions Before Lovin Eve Read online

  THE

  BASIC INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LOVIN

  EVE

  Written

  By

  K.A. PEOPLES

  Copyright by Khnum publications

  Khnum Publications

  © 2015 by Khnum Pubilcations

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodies in critical articles and reviews.

  ISBN: 9-780692-572313

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2015959890

  DISCLAIMER

  The author of this book is not an attorney. All information given comes from the writers own personal experiences. So before following any suggestions please seek the advice of a legal professional.

  CONTENTS

  INTRODUCTION

  WHO ARE WOMEN

  DIFFERENT TYPE OF WOMEN

  THE 52 FAKE OUT

  THINGS MEN SHOULD NEVER DO

  THE MARRIAGE

  CHEATING WIVES

  DIVORCE (THE 50 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY)

  FAMILY COURT

  CHILD SUPPORT(UNCONSTITUTIONAL FORM OF SPOUSAL SUPPORT FOR WOMEN)

  CONCLUSION

  INTRODUCTION

  What are little boys made of?

  Snips & snails & puppy dogs tails,

  And such are little boys made of.

  What are young women made of?

  Sugar & spice & all things nice.

  Robert Southey (1820)

  This old poem describes how our society sees most men today. This idea that women can do no wrong has been echoed mostly by today’s women groups, and supported by our current family court system. With over 63% of all homes currently run by single mothers (2010 U.S. Census) it’s no surprise that young men today buy into this idea; feeling like they must control this inherent evil that lurks within despite the fact that most guys love their mothers and no man wants to be labeled a woman-beater. So men do their very best to become the nice guy society says they should be! The young man who respects his mother and truly believes all women are sugar & spice and everything nice, that's how most mothers are so your future wife should be no different, right? Well, before you walk down that aisle or jump that broom, let’s take a look at a few statistics. According to the 2010 U.S. census, there is a 50% chance that you will be divorced within seven years and a 70% chance that (your future wife) will be the one who will ask for the divorce ; if you’re living in a state that has no-fault divorce laws, according to Margaret F. Brinig & Douglas W. Allen’s “These Boots are Made for Walking” Why Most Divorce Filers are Women . And surprisingly, 2011 U.S. census data showed that women were less likely than men to pay their child support. WHAT! A 1999 study done by the American Association of Blood Banks even shows that 3 out of 10 guys are raising children where they are not the biological fathers (simply put, women cheat). After breakup/divorce men between the ages of 20 and 29 are three times more likely to commit suicide than women. This was the eighth leading cause of death for all men living in the United States in 2005, according to the 2008 National Center for Injury Prevention and Control. As if that’s not enough, women are just as physically abusive as men, according to research done by psychologist John Archer and sociologist Murray Straus that reads:

  “….men and women exhibit roughly equal rates of violence within relationships; some studies hint that women’s rates of physical aggression are slightly higher. This apparent equality is not solely a result of women fighting back, because it holds even for altercations that women start.”

  This supports the statements made by Ms. Erin Pizzey, a woman credited for creating the first woman shelter back in 1971 for abused women in the UK. In her autobiography This Way to the Revolution: A Memoir written by Peter Owen. Ms. Pizzey: states that after establishing her first refuge, she determined that a majority of domestic violence was reciprocal, with both partners abusing each other in roughly equal rates. She reached this conclusion when she asked the women in her refuge about violence they experienced, only to discover that most of the women were equally as violent or more violent than their husbands.

  According to the 2012 National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS), 53.5 percent of women were the perpetrators of child maltreatment, compared to 45.3 percent of men.

  Finally, The Department of Justice (Bureau of Justice Statistics) released a report “Rape and Sexual Assault Victimization Among College-Age Females, 1995-2013” that study, the rape and sexual assault of women (ages 18-24) on and off college campus. The term rape and sexual assault were defined by The National Crime Victimization Survey to include: a) completed and attempted rape, b) completed and attempted sexual assault, and c) threats of rape or sexual assault. The report showed that 1 in 52 women on college campus were victims of rape/sexual assault, not the 1 in 5 as previously reported. The report also shows a 50 percent, steady decline of rape and sexual assault of young women on and off college campuses.1 in 52 women being sexually assaulted anywhere in the world is nothing to be proud of! However, we can take pride in knowing, that, the steady decline of sexual assaults shows that we do not have a rape epidemic of young women on college campuses.

  Have I gotten your attention yet? Thought so., well, what does this mean? It means that women are human beings not angels, and are just as capable of committing the same exact, shameful acts as us men! Young men growing up today in single-parent homes are being duped by social media, women’s groups, etc., into believing men are the ones who mostly screw up in relationships between men and women, leading to the breakup of the family household. We now know that this is the furthest thing from the truth. Consequently, this misconception has caused young men raised by single mothers to go into marriage with a misunderstanding of women and no understanding of the five basic principles of man-hood usually taught by fathers or other positive male figures. These principles are: builder, provider, protector, lawmaker and enforcer of his home and community. If a young man today does not have an understanding of these principles or is in company with a woman who is unfamiliar with these male traits, in my opinion, your marriage may be doomed, as the data shows. The Basic Instructions Before Lovin’ Eve, aka the B.I.B.L.E. is written to help good young men raised by single women understand the different types of women (good, bad, etc.) that are out there, the mind games to watch out for, your role as a man in your relationship, and even the court system (-if you find yourself divorced and seeking visitation to see your child). So before you put a ring on it, let the B.I.B.L.E. help guide you in your quest to search for your future Eve. But! When you’re in the abyss of love, you might not always listen to the advice given, because the heart does not always do what the mind tells it to. Whatever the case; this book’ (which comes from my 40 plus years of personal experience as a good man) will at least give you some understanding of the type of woman you’re in a relationship with, the strength of the relationship, and actions to take when a relationship fails.

  So, are you ready? Let’s get started.

  WHO ARE WOMEN

  Before we get into the different types of women, let’s look at how women are:

  Why do Women Like to Talk allot?

  Women use talking as a way to feel closer to their man emotionally. It’s’ how women bond with men. Men, however, feel closer with a woman when they’re having sex (intimacy); it’s how we bond with women. As men, we can have a big problem understanding this about women because when we speak to one another, it is unusual for our conversations to have any emotional
ties to them. It’s generally about the sharing of ideas (information). So when a woman starts talking about the kind of day she had, a book she read or some show she saw on TV, she’s bonding! This form of verbal stimulation is very important to women -and to you if you are planning to have a meaningful relation with a woman! That means there will be many times you will have to sit and listen to your lady go on and on about a whole lot of things. Most of it you will have no interest in; because she’s not really looking for any solution to what she is talking about (she’s just bonding)! That’s why it’s a good thing for women to have girlfriends. Even if you may not like some of them, they provide each other with an out let to express themselves. So your ears can get a break, which can lead to many uninterrupted moments in your man cave.

  Why do women like to shop (in other words, why do they have so many clothes)?

  Women fantasize a lot! When a woman goes shopping and puts on a new outfit, she feels like a new person. Same thing when she gets her hair and nails done. She feels reborn! A single dress is not complete without the perfect pair of shoes, hand-bag, jewelry, and other matching accessories. So when she goes out to purchase one piece of clothing, you can see how it can lead to another and another. She can go grocery shopping, happen upon a side-walk sale displaying those perfect pair of shoes she has been looking for, and well, this mean you might not get that steak dinner on the list because it just got replaced with those shoes! Hey, guys, I know we fantasize, too. But unlike men, women actually prepare for their fantasies. So if that day ever comes, she’ll be ready! This urge to fantasize (a.k.a. shop) can become a little more addictive in some women than others. Once it becomes an addiction; deceit, huge debt and financial ruin can follow.

  Why do women hate being told, they are wrong?

  This is a tough one. First, no one likes to be told they are wrong. From my experience, women tend to be more bothered by this than men. When men are proven wrong about something, most of us do get upset, but we just make a mental note of it and move on. When a woman is wrong, she tends to see it as a personal defeat. Why! Women, I think, may envy most men’s natural ability to solve the problems around us without becoming too emotional. When a woman proves her man wrong, most men do become upset, because we feel it will destroy a woman’s confidence; in our abilities to solve her problems. But to many women, they see this as a huge -victory over this knows -it- all man. However, when a woman is proven wrong by her man she is crushed! I believe she feels it makes her appear weak, or in her mind, stupid. But in our heads we see it as correcting or making her aware of something she misunderstands. Men correct each other all the time, so naturally we assume women can handle it. The truth is most cannot! For this reason, many women tend to avoid admitting when they are wrong so they won’t have to listen to their man explain to them why and how they were wrong; which make them feel inferior.

  Why do women like bad boys?

  Well; first things first: Women practice hypergamy (pronounced hy-per-ga-my) so they are hypergamous by nature. What does this mean? It means women look for the best men possible to be with. Consider, however, that when very young, some can get blindsided by a wild, crazy, exciting guy who they never thought they would fall for. But as they get older, they will begin looking for men who are equal to or above whatever standards they set. These men fall into three categories: Looks, Wealth and Strength (mental not physical). Any guy who falls under anyone of those three categories will be popular with the girls. Good looking guys are popular with the ladies because women subconsciously feel they will produce healthy, attractive kids. Wealthy guys are popular with women because they provide financial security (homes, cars, etc). Strong -men are attractive to women because of the confidence they have in themselves and in life; to do what they want when they want (unpredictable), and to go after what they like. Any woman who gets with this –type of man knows she has to go along with his plans if she wants to stick around for the ride. These 3 types of men only make up about 20 percent of the male population. All others fall into the other 80 percent of men who are, for the most part, decent guys. What is this 80/20 dichotomy? This rule describes the difference between male and female attraction. If you were to take 10 guys and show them 20 well groomed women, 80 percent or more of these men will find them physically attractive. If you were to take 10 women and show them 20 well- groomed men, only 20 percent of the men as a whole (looks, wealth, and strength) would measure up to these women’s standards. Most women chase after that 20 percent those 3 types of guys while the other 80 percent are either ignored or taken advantage of by these women. Many of these ladies are able to do this because most guys (young and old) try to prove their self -worth to women; by volunteering their services, in hopes to get a date. Like working on their cars or helping out with things around their homes etc. This style of courting by men is so well known to women that many take advantage of it! These women are able to convince most of these men; that they’re doing them a favor when they allow these guys to help them out in their time of need! Quite a few women think that most men believe that women have a lot of guys around that they can call on for help or even a date. This may be true somewhat when these women are both young and beautiful but in most cases it is not! It’s just a mind game that fools most guys but when it comes to the all confident bad boys, it’s the women who are usually trying to prove their self-worth to them. Bad boys fall under the category of Strength. There alpha male, care free attitude is very attractive to most women, especially when they are younger (between the ages of 16-28). When some women at that age (depending on how they were raised and how attracted they are to the guy) see a man with all that alpha -male strength and confidence to match, they gotta have him! Why! Because most women at that age are in school and/or still living at home, so security is not an issue for most of them at that stage in their lives. So they feel they can afford to gamble. These young ladies foolishly believe that they are the one woman who will break him (with their love and complete loyalty/support) and one day turn him into the man who meets their standards. As a young man you may feel that bad boys get most of the girls and you’re right, because many women today are raised by single mothers, and have no idea what a good man looks like! However, bad boys leave a trail of destruction behind them. Women who date bad boys finally realize this (some never do) 5 or 10years down the road. After wasting all that time chasing a man that doesn’t love them, these women now find themselves looking for that good, decent man to help repair their lives. But by then, most good men will have grown wiser, more stable and in most cases, married. Whatever the case may be, the tables will turn in favor of the good guys. So be patient! All these women who chased these bad boys and had their lives turned upside down by these guys now will be looking for the 80 percent of decent men who were once waiting at their door-steps, for some security and companionship. Sadly, there would not be that many. The percentage would have gone down to about 60 percent if the woman is 30yrs of age to about 23 percent when she reaches 40 (according to a study by the U.S. Census Bureau Women a Marriage Percentage published in 1986). Some of these women will be carrying a whole lot of baggage from their exciting journeys. So be careful! Most men will have grown wise enough to avoid those women. So if you find yourself still single or divorced in the later part of your life, take your time sorting through this huge selection of women, and choose someone who is ready to appreciate having a good man in her life.

  Why do women keep secret accounts when married or in a live-in relationship?

  This is one thing most young men today know nothing about when they are in a live-in relationship with a woman. Many women (when living with a guy) have a secret bank account or stash wherein they hide money from their man. Why! Just in case the relationship goes bad, they have some security to fall back on. Most men, on the other hand, come into the relationship with all their cards on the table. So you can see how, when this type of secret is found out (and in most cases the guy never finds out), it causes the trust
in the relationship to fall apart. As men, when we enter into a live-in relationship with a woman, many of us have put our fullest trust into that relationship, so we assume she has done the same! You have tried to take on all her needs emotionally and financially to make sure she feels secured. Even sometimes working 50 to 60 hours a week to help pay down her bills, help with her college tuition or to maintain a comfortable home only to find out that she has saved a pretty nice-sized nest egg for herself. While at the same time she telling you how broke she is, and how she never has enough money to go out and shop for the home. I truly believe that if these women weren’t so deceitful, most men would not feel so betrayed. But we do! And once a man discovers this about the woman he lives with, it will make him question her loyalty to the relationship. Now some women do come into the relationship with money that may have come from a settlement, inheritance, bonus from her job etc. The good thing about that would be if, she’s not hiding it from you! Which gives you guys a chance to talk about how that money (if needed) can be used for the household. When this talk happens, most men will have no problem if the woman wants to keep most of the money, if not all of it, in her personal account. This creates a trust in the relationship that provides a piece of mind for the couples; knowing that besides their personal savings they have together, they also have this other money in case they need it. This is not the case when couples come into the relationship in debt and they’re working hard to get out of it only to find out that she has been putting money away for herself! So before moving in with a woman, you may want to discuss how you feel about keeping secret accounts from each other if you have a problem accepting this. The sad reality is most women will keep a secret account for themselves even when her man asks her not to do so.